Sleepless in Wyoming

This is exactly how I felt as I dragged myself out of bed this morning

I haven't been sleeping well the past couple of nights. I have been having bad nightmares for three nights in a row now. Nightmares are not new to me. But it has been quite a while since I have had one. And having them 3 nights in a row has thrown me for a loop. Nightmares are usually a sign of a major change in my life. I usually get them worst when I am pregnant, especially in my first trimester. I also got them bad when I went through my divorce (more than a decade ago), when Rob moved to Wyoming and I was alone with the kids for 4 months (3 years ago), and for a short while after a got my foster son [(1 1/2 years ago) - I'll have to share that story at another time]. Other than those time periods bad dreams have been rare and random. Since I am on the Depo shot and have an appt tomorrow for my next scheduled shot, it's highly unlikely that I am pregnant. I also am not going through any major change in my life unless I am going through THE CHANGE. I am guessing that since I am getting older (36 1/2 now), that maybe my hormones are changing and that is the cause. My migraines have increased in the last couple months as well, and they usually increase when I am pregnant or on my cycle.

Honestly I'm really in need of a hysterectomy, but have continually put it off because there never seems to be a good time to get it done. I am one really busy person and I can’t imagine purposefully being down and out for any length of time. I am certain my house would fall apart in the duration (not that it isn’t on the verge already). Plus the Depo shot (thus resulting in no monthly bleeding) has seemed to help manage most of my female issues that prescribe a hysterectomy. I have polycystic ovarian disease, so it is highly unlikely for me to just get a partial. It seems that it is an all or nothing choice. Even though I know I am done having kids, I am also not sure I like the idea of disposing of my female organs. I fear that the issues that come with it might be worse than what I suffer with now. So the fear of the unknown will probably keep my hanging onto my parts as long as I can tolerate. I am digressing and am sure that I have shared more information that anyone reading this probably wanted to know.

So back to the dreams… if it is not hormones, I guess it could just be from all the stress I have been experiencing lately with school board issues & the new biomedical path we are exploring with Dalin’s Autism. Who knows. All I know is I need a good nights sleep. I've thought of sneaking in a nap this afternoon but am afraid to go to sleep because of what may be waiting for me in my dreams. Maybe I’ll schedule an appt for a massage for this afternoon and see if that will help.I usually drift off to sleep when I get a massage and can't imagine any bad vibes coming my way for the duration.