Search and Destroy

So I have been having a good week with Dalin. He has been in a surprisingly good mood most of the week. He's been pretty cooperative every morning getting ready for school and has overall just been a content child. Dalin goes to school 4 days a week. He is in school in the morning and afternoon and comes home for about an hour for lunch. Today when he came home for lunch he ate some yogurt and a grilled cheese sandwich. Then he took off to play (or so I thought, although maybe if I really looked closer perhaps it was play to him). Anyways, I was cleaning up from lunch when I heard crashing. Dalin and crashing are not a good combination. I ran into the living room to find that Dalin had taken three of Rob's porcelain collectors’ item figurines from the 2002 Winter Olympics and thrown them on the floor, breaking them into pieces. Rob had actually just pulled them out the night before. They had been in storage because for the longest time we didn't trust Dal with anything breakable. But I collect WillowTree figurines and have them displayed in my living room. Dalin has pretty much left them alone, so Rob felt like he could finally pull his out and put them on display. I guess we were wrong. The most frustrating part is trying to understand why Dalin does it. He was not angry at the time. In fact it almost seems that when he is destructive like that he is void of feeling. I don't know how to explain it. I told him what he did was not nice and put him in time out. He just gave me a blank look and asked for his "Gigi". My son still has a binky (pacifier, w/e you call it). He doesn't use it a lot, but uses it for comfort. I wouldn't let him have it. So he sat and bawled. Gave me the look like I was the meanest mom on the planet. Maybe I should've just given it to him, but I felt like I couldn't reward him with his binky when he was in trouble. So I let him sit and cry until the bus came (which was only 5 minutes). Sometimes I wonder if we will ever be able to own anything of value without constantly worrying that he will ruin it. He has ruined so many DVDs, glass objects, and things of importance to us. I call it "Search and Destroy". It's almost like a game. He searches out items of value that are breakable and then CRASH! Again, in a way though, I have become numb to it. Last week it was a lamp (glass everywhere), the week before that some Halloween decorations. I think if Rob had been here he would have been disappointed that I hadn't been harsher on Dalin. But what is the point?! Punishment never works on him. It doesn't change his behavior. We have tried time-outs, spanking, making him clean up the mess, taking favorite toys away -- you name it and we've tried it. But none of it has been effective on changing behavior. It's like he doesn't understand that it is a consequence for bad behavior. I'll try to have a conversation with him about it, but I may as well be talking to a brick wall. The thing that works best is redirection -- getting his attention on something else. But that is really only effective in the short-term. Because he eventually goes back to the bad behavior. I've taken so many parenting classes -- Love & Logic for one. But how do you use Love & Logic on a child who has no comprehension of either. Autistic children lack logic. I am lucky that my son shows affection, many Autistic children don’t. Rob told me he read an article written by Jenny McCarthy about how her Autistic son had a huge breakthrough and hugged her and how she wonders if it will ever happen again. Dalin will hug us and kiss us, but I don’t think he understands love. It is too much of a social concept and Dalin lacks any social sense. So.... Love & Logic is out the door. If anyone who happens to read this knows of a great book out there, one that actually has proven methods of how to effectively discipline an Autistic child, that ultimately results in changed behavior, I'd love to read it! I need all the help I can get!